I truly cannot believe that I am writing this post. My son is a year old. ONE! It has been the most exhilarating, joyous, exhausting, frustrating, overwhelming, amazing, sleepless, full of love year I have ever experienced in my entire life. In some ways it feels like yesterday that I was pregnant, on bed rest, worried, scared, excited…just wanting to hold him. I now hold him in my arms every day. The big smile he gets on his face when he sees me in the morning, the big sloppy wet kisses that follows without fail. How did I get so lucky? Aidan is my world, he is my life. I look at him and cannot believe how he has grown. He is not a baby anymore; you can see that in his eyes, in his face, in his smile. He is strong willed and very headstrong. He will push his boundaries as far as he can. He is loving and affectionate, he babbles constantly and shakes his head back and forth because he likes how it feels. He likes to be spun around and hung upside down. He loves to cruise around the house, exploring everything. Forget toys, he only wants it if he is not supposed to have it. His laugh brings such joy to my heart, his boo boo lip and big crocodile tears bring tears to my eyes. He sings along to the nursery rhyme CD we listen to in the car. He LOVES Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. And he loves to dance. All I want in this world is to spend the rest of my life loving him, teaching him, and raising him to become a good little boy into a great man. I want him to learn about virtue and honesty. I want him to know it is okay to spread your wings and try new things, I want him to know that there is an entire world out there, it doesn't stop at your city limits. I want him to know about other cultures, and to appreciate all that they have to offer. I want him to celebrate differences. I want him to always be appreciative of what he has; I want him to know that not all are as fortunate as he. I want him to grow up helping and caring about others, those who are less fortunate. I want him to live and imagine. I want him to play outside and while TV and video games are ok, they are not life. I want him to know how much his Daddy and I love him and love each other. I want him to grow up watching us, knowing that affections is a wonderful thing, being true to yourself and honest with yourself is of the utmost importance. I want him to have respect for others, regardless. I want him to have manners, know how far a please and thank you can get you in this world, and how important it is for others to hear that. I want him to know the difference between right and wrong, and while he may not always make the "right" decision, to learn from those mistakes. I want him to know that I have dreamed of him for years and never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined such a vibrant, happy, headstrong, stubborn, gorgeous little boy.
Yesterday I had a moment. You know those moments you have when all of a sudden it is like a loud "click" and you just know that things are as they are supposed to be. I was in the kitchen making biscuits from scratch (We don't have ready made biscuits here) and I am rolling out the dough and in the other room the Lion King is roaring in the background, I have flour on my forehead and I glance into the living room and see the two loves of my life sitting on the couch watching the Lion King. It was such an ordinary moment, but truly anything but ordinary. I felt this warm glow inside of me and a sting of tears in my eyes. I am so incredibly grateful for all that has been given to me. I am so thankful for an amazing husband and our son. As I held Aidan for the first time, I felt this moment. I have had many moments like that over the past year and it still shakes me how intense the feelings are. I am finally alive. I am finally living.
So, as we prepare to eat cake and celebrate the birth of Aidan one year ago, it is so much deeper and so much more than just a "Happy Birthday!" It was the birth of my own life…the beginning of moving from a girl to a woman. Aidan has changed my in ways that I never knew were possible. He has made me a better person, want to be a better person, to know that life is not about handbags and shoes :) He has given my life such light and such purpose and I am humbled to have been given this blessing.
A couple of pictures of our little baby boy growing into the handsome little man that he is today. I love you baby.
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