Letting go of the diet...

Aidan is 19 months old and since he was born I have been struggling with my body image. I gained about 35 pounds with my pregnancy and lost all but 10 pounds by the time Aidan was about 8 weeks old. This last 10 pounds has followed me ever since. I have lost it and then regained it twice now. The funny thing is that my body is just different than it was before I had Aidan. My hips are wider, my waist smaller and it has made trying to buy clothes a nightmare. I am very curvy, with a big bust, smaller waist and now bigger hips. It is nearly impossible for me to buy off the rack at all. The tailor will be my friend when I get back to the states. I used to be able to put anything on and no problem. No longer. It is frustrating and though I am size 6 to 8 US I was just struggling with how my body looked.

I am done with the dieting. I don't eat unhealthy on a day to day basis, I don't eat a lot of sweets, I eat a fairly balanced diet that includes GASP carbs. Sure, I can cut carbs and drop weight, but I can't live that way. So I am embarking on my new No Diet plan. I eat what I want within reason and continue to exercise (I do about 45 min of cardio daily along with weights 3x per week and pilates as well) My body is strong, I am heavier than I used to be but look so much better toned. I am throwing my scale away. (I have a sick obsession with weighing myself, seriously 4-5 times per day.) I am going to embrace my healthy 5'8 138 body...and move on. It feels good to have made this decision and to let go.

My baby belly is still there, no matter how much weight I lose, how much cardio I do, I still have the stretched skin baby pooch. I still have stretch marks (DAMN...made it to 34 weeks without any! Aidan was born at 36.5 weeks!) I may have a tummy tuck or a mini tummy tuck in the future...or I may not. :)

So...it feels good. I love not having to think about every calorie I put in my mouth...just eat healthy and exercise.